dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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