some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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