I puked a lego.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
