I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
