My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
