We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
