So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
