I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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