Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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