The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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