So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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