Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
