i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There are leaves in my underwear?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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