Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
