its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
