ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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