So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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