You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
