Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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