Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
