hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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