The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's the barista slut.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
