omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
