We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
