I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm like, not good at living.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
PANTIES FOUND
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