I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
