I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Panties = found
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
