What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
