"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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