Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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