i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize