it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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