if i can run in heels then i can drive
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
operation have a gay friend backfired
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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