...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
