everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
