my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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