just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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