...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
