I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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