I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
