well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
