I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
In America we eat man semen.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
