the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
