tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
