this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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