you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have post one night stand depression
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