if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
