Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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