I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
then he tried to convert me to islam
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
