you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize