i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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