It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
