He kissed a someone with a penis
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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