...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
