...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
