dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
