Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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