It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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