How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
