It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
