she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
