is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
