How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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